Relationships can be hard. People who care about each other disagree, argue, and fight. While conflict is a normal part of any relationship, hurting each other doesn't have to be. Even with the best of intentions, hurtful patterns in relationships can be difficult to change. Partners and spouses can work hard to make their relationships better and still fall in the same-old destructive routines under stress. Communication problems are often central to relationship strife, but they are seldom the whole story. I am skilled and experienced in helping couples improve relationship patterns.

Even as we mature in many areas of our lives, our relationship patterns can stagnate in ways that came about when we were younger. These relationship patterns are very hard to change without some sort of help.

People find themselves repeating the same unhealthy patterns in their relationships, even with new partners. They realize that they feel the same old ways and fight about the same old issues that they always have. While it can be convenient to blame the partner or spouse for all of the problems in a relationship, many people get to a point where they wonder if they invite certain kinds of conflict into their relationships. It is at this point that the deeper work of couples counseling begins.

I approach couples therapy from the perspective that both partners have deeply held relational patterns that cause tension and pain. Most people need to update and revise their ways of relating to others as they grow and mature in life. Couples counseling involves understanding and changing problematic relationship patterns in a safe, respectful atmosphere. Positive strategies for improving communication and resolving conflict are developed in the spirit of transforming blame to cooperation.